Ghost Sheep II: Leota's Revenge
by Rubidia
Summary: The continued adventures of the Hitchhiking Ghosts and their dead sheep, Lobster. When Ezra kills Leota's poppy, the mansion goes crazy. Can the Hitchhiking Ghosts fix everything before it goes too far?
1. You Killed What?

**A/N: Sequel to Ghost Sheep. A continuation of the Hitchhiking Ghost's many adventures with their dead sheep. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Disney.**

Phineus sighed and rolled onto his back in midair, staring at the vaulted ceiling of the ballroom. Nothing exciting had happened at all since the three had recovered Lobster the sheep. He found himself almost wishing that Ezra had another scheme up his sleeves. Almost. At least there was some peace and quiet.

All of a sudden, there was a loud crash, and the ballroom doors slammed open. Ezra came zooming through them, followed closely by an angry green orb of light. He leapt from the top of the stairs, landing with a clang on the dance floor below. He dashed to Phineus, panting.

"Phineus," he gasped, "Phineus, you've got to help me!" Phineus rolled his eyes.

"What did you do now?" he asked in a bored tone.

"I-I killed Leota's poppy!" he squeaked. Phineus's eyes grew wide. No one _ever_ touched Leota's poppy. No one.

"Oh, geez. Why did you do that?!! Come on, we've gotta get out of here! It's a wonder you made it this far!" Phineus hustled the skeletal ghost out of the ballroom, dragging him down the hallway to the library, where he hoped to find George.

But, to his disappointment, he found that the library was vacant. With no where else to go, they returned to Gus's room, where they found the dwarf having a tea party with his sheep, Lobster.

"Gus, take that bonnet off the sheep, we have a serious problem here!" Phineus ordered. Gus's face fell, but he obediently untied the prissy sun-hat from the fluffy livestock and crossed to where the other two sat panting against the door. "This genius here," Phineus explained, gesturing to Ezra, "had the wonderful idea to kill Leota's poppy." Gus gasped.

"I didn't 'have the idea', it just happened. I was trying to borrow her copy of the Season Two DVD Collection of Desperate Housewives, and then she woke up, and was all like, Wapow! and, Watcha! and before I knew it, I had knocked over the stupid poppy, and it shriveled up and died!"

"Plants don't just shrivel up and die, Ezra," Phineus accused, "And you know better than to steal Leota's Desperate Housewives!" Ezra hung his head in shame.

"But I had to know what happened! And I was going to return it! Anyhow, now she won't stop chasing me!" Phineus sighed. There goes peace and quiet, he thought.

"What do you expect us to do?" Phineus asked, dealing the final blow.

"Talk to her! Tell her not to kill me!" Ezra shouted, flailing his arms wildly.

"Already dead," Gus pointed out. Ezra ignored him.

"Just, make her stop chasing me!" Phineus groaned.

"Fine. We'll talk to her. Are you happy now?"

"Not until that ball of green madness gets off my back! Now go!" Ezra shoved them out the door, Lobster trudging behind them slowly.


	2. The Wicked Witch of the West Wing

**A/N: Here's chapter 2 for everyone! Hope you like! Remember to press the little green rectangle at the bottom of the page on your way out! And to recycle!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Disney.**

Phineus, Gus, and Lobster trudged into the séance room, hoping to find that Leota had not yet returned, but, to their disdain, there she was, safe and sound, back in her crystal ball.

"How does she get out, do you think?" Phineus whispered. Gus shrugged, then nudged him towards the cloth covered table on which the fortune teller sat.

Clearing his throat, Phineus addressed the slumbering head. "Um, Leota?" Her eyes blinked open. "Hi there, um, we just came to talk to you about Ezra." She cried out in a fit of rage, causing the round ghost to step back in surprise.

"How dare you mention that imbecile's name in my presence?!! He destroyed my precious, my darling, my pride and joy, my POPPY!!!!"

"Yes, we know, and we're terribly sorry about that, but, well, how about he replaces it, and we all just be friends again?" he asked meekly.

"Friends? FRIENDS?!! You want to be _friends_?!!!" she screeched, "Get out of here, NOW!!!!"

"But, can't we just talk about it?"

"NO!! I'll get you for this! And you're little sheep too!!" A downpour of lightning bolts erupted around them, bombarding them out back into the hallway. Phineus mopped his brow.

"I can't believe we let him talk us in to that," he exclaimed, grabbing Lobster by the tail as he tried to sidle away again. "You're not getting away with that again!" The sheep glared at Ezra, then bit his hand. "OW! You dumb sheep!"

"Baaaa." Phineus stomped off, shouting over his shoulder as he walked:

"Is that all you ever say?!!"

"Lobster sheep. Sheep baaa." Gus replied calmly, then followed his cohort back towards his room.


	3. Brilliant Plans

**A/N: I promise, I really am working on Lovely Nancy! This one just moves faster! So, without further ado, I bring you…Chapter three of Ghost Sheep II!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Disney. Just remember that for the rest of the fanfic, I'm getting tired of typing it. If I buy Disney within the next few chapters, I'll let you know.**

"Minions!" Leota screeched from within her crystal ball, "Minions, come here!!!!" Seven winged bats flapped in through the window.

"Yeees, mistress?" one squeaked nervously.

"I need your help! Watch those idiotic Hitchhikers and their moronic sheep for me!" The bats saluted, then flapped out into the hall and out of sight.

"Now, to put my _**ingenious **_plan into action! _Frog's eyes and liver spread, my anger they have now instilled, put me in that dumb sheep's head! _Ahahaha! Now, for the fun part…"

* * *

Phineus sighed back inside the safety of Gus's room.

"We did the best we could, Ezra," he said to the irritated hitchhiker.

"Well, that's not good enough! Who knows what she'll do!" he cried.

"You talk," Gus spewed, pouting. Ezra glared at the midget, then began pacing.

"Well, we'll have to do something…I've got it! No, that won't work…Oh! No…Hmm, for that we'd need a ton of Peanut Butter, and I don't know where we'd get that much at this hour…"

"It's 2:00 in the afternoon!" Phineus pointed out. Ezra ignored him.

"But, if that won't work…we could always…no…" Ezra finally turned back to the other two, "I've got nothing."

"Gus has plan!" the dwarf shouted. The other two whipped around to face him, "Avoid Leota!"

"Gus, that's brilliant!" Ezra whooped. Phineus wasn't quite convinced.

"But, she'll find us!" he pointed out. Ezra ignored him. Again.

"Well, that's settled! Come on, boys, lets go have a celebratory drink!" Phineus didn't bother to mention that, despite what Ezra may say, they still could not drink. Or eat. Or consume anything in general.

Hey, Ezra will be Ezra.


	4. Definitely Get A Restraining Order

**A/N: *sheepish* Ummm…hello, fellow HM fans…please don't tar and feather me for my bad fanfic junkie behavior. I've been meaning to update for a long time, but I haven't gotten around to it until now! Sorry…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Disney.**

Leota cackled to herself as she pranced down the hallway, instantly regretting this when she met George.

"I've gotta stop doing that," she muttered to herself, then cursed when she realized she was just adding more to the list of reasons why Mr. Gracey should put a restraining order on her.

Of course, some of the other reasons were that she a) killed him b) ate his sandwich, and c) she didn't much like him, thus making a restraining order seem like a pretty good idea. Everyone knew, if Leota didn't like you, best put a legal barrier up. You'd be glad you did.

But as soon as the expired man had disappeared through the library wall, she immediately resumed her mad chuckling. Her plan was working! She slid into an alcove in the hallway that contained a large, ornamental potted plant.

She allowed some green sparks to flow from her fingers, and soon, her eyes snapped open to reveal that her pupils, iris', retina, and other things that are generally found in eyes, had vanished, leaving her with blank white beneath her eyelids.

----

Inside Gus's tiny cell, Lobster's eyes shot open, much unlike his usual droopy eyed expression. For once, he appeared to actually be listening intently to what the three Hitchhiking Ghost's were saying.

When Phineus gave him a suspicious look, he immediately began to nonchalantly nibble on some important looking documents. Phineus shrugged, then turned back to the conversation.

"Come on, boys, let's go have a celebratory drink!" the tall, skinny one was shouting. Lobster had to contain a snort. Of course, only someone as dimwitted as him would say something like that. Everyone knew that spirits couldn't consume food or drink. Idiot.

He did his best to trudge after them, although he much preferred to walk in a brisk, high stepped fashion, and found he suddenly was craving grass. Stupid sheep. But he would have to tough it out until he had done his job. The time would come soon.


	5. The Last Straw

**A/N: I'm sure you'll all be thrilled to hear that you get updates in every single one of my fanfictions this week! I promised my friend that I would if she would dance like a gazelle with me during Algebra the other day. So, here I am!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Disney!**

George was infuriated! That darn sheep had eaten his sandwich! Again! He was getting tired of those three. He strode down the hall purposefully towards the bar, where he thought he might find at least Ezra.

Sure enough, there they all were, Ezra downing a root beer (George didn't allow any of them to consume alcohol, though he wasn't sure how they consumed anything at all…) and the other two were slouched on barstools with expressions so bored that they could challenge Lobster's superior indifference.

"All right, I'm giving that sheep one more chance before he is out on the streets!" George barked, "I'm sick of him causing trouble! He ate my sandwich!"

"I thought you agreed that ghosts couldn't eat!" Phineus said incredulously. If they lost George to insanity, well, he just didn't think he could go on anymore!

"We can't! But I'm simply saying, if we could, I would be very hungry right now! Very hungry, you hear! VERY!" It seemed it was too late to pull George back out of the pool of lunacy. Really a shame.

"Quit making weak metaphors about George's mental state in your head, Phineus!" Ezra chided, "It's very rude to think about people behind their backs!"

"Control Lobster," Gus promised, steering everyone back on topic.

"Thank you, Gus," George said, and stalked out of the room with a huff.

Phineus eyed Lobster wearily. This darn sheep had caused enough trouble. It was time to resort to desperate measures. Entrusting him to Emily to care for. She wasn't exactly the most reliable pet-sitter, but she did dote on the big ball of wool, so when Gus was taking his naps, Phineus sometimes pawned him off on the weak-minded bride. It was the easiest thing to do.

So he strapped Gus to his bed with titanium bolts, and headed to the stairway. Ezra downed another root beer and, pretending to be drunk, staggered out the window. It was really a miracle that he had lived to adulthood.


	6. Into the Basement

**A/N: I'm starting to get back into the swing of things here! So thank you to all of my faithful reviewers who stuck with me through my lapse off the map for a while! I love you all, in a general not actually knowing any of you way… :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Disney.**

Emily cooed over the nonchalant sheep, giggling as she pet it's woolly head.

"You are just the cuuuutest wittle thing I've ever seen! Yes you are, yes you are, you furry wittle thing! Who's the cutest thing I've ever seen? It's you! It's you!" Phineus ran out the attic door and left her to her little giggle fit. This was something he really didn't want to witness…

"Mr. Woolly-pants, are you a good sheep?" she asked in a high pitched, shrill voice, "Do you want Emily to pet your wittle head?"

"Quiet, foolish immortal! You are mucking up my plans!" the sheep snapped. Emily's eyes grew wide. "I mean…_baa_." Emily's eyes returned to their normal size and she again grew relaxed and smitten by the woolly animal.

"You're such a _cute_ wittle sheepy-poo!" the girl tittered. Lobster grumbled at the ridiculous treatment he was receiving. Something must be done.

-----------

George raised his eyebrows at the report brought to him by the boiler room ghouls. They weren't exactly the most trustworthy of spirits, but then again, he wouldn't put it past those three to lock Emily in the basement. This time, he could hardly blame them, though. Emily was rather irritating, though he'd never admit this aloud. After all, she'd almost been his wife…

But, focusing his attention again on the task at hand, he swept off to the basement. When he had descended the dank basement stairs into the gloomy cellar, he found that the ghouls had been telling the truth. There was Emily, chatting it up and having a grand old time with the housekeeper, Mrs. Snellings, the wife of the old caretaker. If Emily was irritating, Snellings was unbearable. So they had tied her to a chair and tossed her in the basement.

"Emily, come along, now, deary," he said kindly, "It's time to go upstairs now," She allowed him to lead her up the steps, back into the light, but not before she gave a friendly little wave to Snellings over her shoulder.

Now it was time to deal with the hitchhikers. This was the last straw.


	7. We Miss Ya, Georgy!

**A/N: You lucky ducks, you get two updates today!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Disney.**

Phineus sighed and let George's lecture pass over his head. He may have been the sensible one, but these rants got a bit boring after a while. He only began to listen when the words 'no' 'more' 'out' done' and 'tent' reached his ears. His metaphorical heart stopped beating. George was kicking them out?!

The Ghost Host sighed and handed them a white canvas tent, then pointed towards the front door to the mansion. Gus burst into tears, clinging to his leg until he finally shook the little thing off and trudged outside into the warm summer sunshine.

Good. At least his ectoplasm wouldn't get all wet. He hated that. Drycleaners never took supernatural matter. So inconvenient.

He and Ezra pitched the tent, and they stole some lawn chairs and paint from the shed beside the greenhouse.

-------------

George screamed in annoyance as he gazed out the window at a sight he had never anticipated. The three imbeciles were lounging in lawn chairs, sipping lemonade, and enjoying the sunshine while wet paint dribbled down the antique and well preserved panes of glass in the form of the words: 'PLEASE LET US COME BACK INSIDE!" And beneath that was a little heart and kiss mark. They were such freaks.

He jumped when out of nowhere came some catchy and upbeat music, while the three ghosts floated into well choreographed formation, and began to sing the following song:

"_We know you really hate that sheep,_

_But we really don't deserve this,_

_Please let us back into the house,_

_Into that warm and spooky bliss!_

_We miss ya, Georgey,_

_We miss ya out here,_

_We miss you Georgy,_

_We miss ya out here,_

_We miss you and that grand old house, and Ezra needs his root beer!_

_We know you really are quite sick of us,_

_Our tricks and all our crazy antics,_

_But we'll make it up, we promise,_

_No more sucking up your soul like greedy little ticks!_

_We miss ya, Georgey,_

_We miss ya out here,_

_We miss you Georgy,_

_We miss ya out here,_

_We miss you and that grand old house, and Ezra needs his root beer!_

_He needs root beer; yes he needs root beer,_

_We really, really miss you, and it's boring out here!"_

George rolled his eyes and yanked the curtains closed on their little scene.


	8. The Truth Comes Out

**A/N: Make that three updates! And Ghost Sheep II: Leota's Revenge is officially finished with this update!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Disney.**

Leota cackled inside the tiny sheep brain. It was a bit cramped in there, but you get used to it after a few generations in a crystal ball. Her plan was going perfectly! Those three were out of her mansion, and George didn't suspect her for a minute! This was too easy.

She bleated miserably as she accidentally walked right into George's tall legs.

"Sheep!" he cried, and began to whack her with a broom that he had seemingly pulled from nowhere…

"BAAAAA!" she screeched in despair.

"Sorry!" he breathed in shock, "I don't know why I just did that…I guess those three lunatics have just been getting to me lately."

She cackled evilly that he still hadn't figured it out, but realized with a start that she had just submitted oral evidence of her identity to George, who had heard her cackle many times before. Hopefully he was too dimwitted to get anything from it.

He gasped. "I've heard that cackle!" he cried triumphantly, "You aren't Lobster…You're _Leota_! You tricked me! You were the one who stole my sandwich!"

"Yes!" she cried, while the three hitchhikers struck at a violin violently outside the window.

"You were the one who locked Emily in the basement!"

"Yes!" she cried with another strike from the violin, "Yes, yes, yes! It was me! I admit it! Victor vas my boyfriend!"

"What?" George asked, not following anymore.

"Never mind," she said quickly, "But yes, it was all me! I wanted to get rid of those sorry excuses for ghosts!"

"But why?" he asked.

"Because…Ezra killed my poppy!" she screeched.

"He WHAT?!!" George cried in shock, "B-but, no one touches your poppy! Well, Leota, I'll have a word with him about it, but for now, they're coming back inside! Because all of these things…they were you, not them. And I can't kick you out, because you're evil, and so naturally inclined to do those sort of things, and people can't discriminate against evil people for being who they are, even though you did kill me and my entire family, but that's okay! Forgive and forget, that's what I always say! Actually, I never say that, but I'm rambling again, aren't I?"

She nodded.

"Sorry," he mumbled, and sent her back to her crystal ball.

He then grudgingly trudged outside and approached the three.

"I suppose you can come back in now," he grumbled, "It was actually Leota. She possessed your sheep and caused major havoc and mayhem."

"So that's what's been going on," Phineus commented thoughtfully, "Hmmm…"

"So, I guess I'm sort of sorry," George struggled to say, "Even though I still kind of despise you three. But not any more so than usual. So are we on general loathing standards again?" he asked.

"Yes!" Ezra cried and flung himself on George with a great sob, embracing him tightly until George managed to slap him enough for him to loosen his grip.

"Just another day with the hitchhiker's," he muttered, and floated back inside, the three oddity's following behind a festive conga line, as all of the mansion ghosts congregated for one last chorus of _We Miss Ya, Georgy_.

" _They missed ya, Georgey,_

_They missed ya out here,_

_They missed you Georgy,_

_They missed ya out here,_

_They missed you and that grand old house, and Ezra needed root beer!_

_He needed root beer; yes he needed root beer,_

_They really, really missed ya, and it's boring out here!"_

THE END!

Coming soon: Ghost Sheep III: Lobster's Revenge! You won't want to miss this third and final tale in the Ghost Sheep trilogy!


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